My Gorgeous Girls

Girls,

I began this blog to write to you every day. Though we're not together, I want you to know how deeply my love for you is.

The hours we spent together were too short. I wanted time to stop while I held you, Trinity, or while I giggled with you, Hailey.

Do you know how precocious you are, Hailey?

Along with the other word you used all the time-hilarious? It's ok that you don't. I do. And you are both. Calling me a 'poopy-head' over and over again! Watching you paint a picture for us, which we forgot to bring home, was one of the many highlights of my time with you.

Do you remember the morning you came to our room and stood by my bed-waiting for me to open my eyes and then you wouldn't stay to visit or kiss me? You'd have no part of cuddling either...although when Caleb came in and cuddled, you jumped right in next to him!

I'm sure you'll forget that you told Isaac that you weren't gonna be his friend anymore cuz he wouldn't do what you wanted him to, but he responded with, "It doesn't matter, cuz I'm your uncle!"

Trinity, I love you and thank God every day that you are here and healthy.


I'm not really sure it's registered that you're our daughter's littlest girl. You're so tiny, yet so large...juicy large...those fat cheeks, solid legs and dimply bottom!

Girls, to think that I could have forfeited all of this by having an abortion twenty-eight years ago.

But God's love reached down, took me by my hand and walked with me when no one else knew how. He carried me, protected me, provided for me, forgave me, and loved me. Then he gave me to your grampa and he loved me, loved your mommy, gave her a new name, and we became a family of three.

Now, all these years later, the rewards of taking responsibility for my choices far outweigh the struggles of being an unwed mother. There are no words that could explain my gratitude for making the hard choice, the right one, and now to hold you two in my arms...

The gripping reality is that although your mom wasn't 'planned', she was always wanted, just like you two. Her story is one of being adopted by a daddy that chose her. She is special and she has a story to tell you someday.

Sleep well my sweets and know that there aren't two little redheaded girls on this earth so beautiful and so cherished as you.

Forever your gramma.