Hi, Girls!

Wacha doin'? I'm making pizza dough for dinner...
Thought I'd include a story for mommy to read to you, Hailey...Here's the website, if mommy wants it! http://www.macgillicuddy.org/

Monster-ous Mouth
As he walked through the forest, Mr. Monster heard what he thought was a familiar voice. "You ding-blasted stupid dumb thing!" cried his son’s voice. "Why can’t you work right?"
Mr. Monster had no idea what MacGillicuddy was talking about. But he knew that he did NOT like the kind of language that MacGillicuddy was using. He stayed and listened for a few moments more, but things seemed to quiet down after that.
"Hmm," thought Mr. Monster. I’m going to have to talk to MacGillicuddy about the language he uses." But Mr. Monster was busy running some errands, so he figured he could talk to MacGillicuddy later.
Later that afternoon, MacGillicuddy and Mayhem were playing in the apple tree, right above MacGillicuddy’s underground home. MacGillicuddy was on one of the lower branches, nearer the ground, and Mayhem was high up in the tree. MacGillicuddy was breaking off old dead branches, and tossing them up at Mayhem.
But Mayhem was very good at catching them before they hit him. Then he would throw them back at MacGillicuddy. Because he was higher up, it was easier for Mayhem to throw them hard at MacGillicuddy.
MacGillicuddy caught most of the branches, but every once in a while, he would miss one. If he was lucky, the branch would miss him, too. But Mayhem threw pretty well, so sometimes MacGillicuddy got hit by one of the branches.
They were tossing the branches at each other, and laughing, when . . . CLUNKKK!!! One of the branches hit MacGillicuddy right on the head. In fact, it hit him right above his eye. "Mayhem, you stupid, dad-blasted, no-good, gosh darn dope!" yelled MacGillicuddy. "You almost hit me in the eye!"
MacGillicuddy was mad! "What kind of a dumb ding-dang dodo are you, anyway!?"
"Hey, MacGillicuddy!" answered Mayhem. "Don’t you talk to me that way!"
"Yeah? Why not?" demanded MacGillicuddy. "You could have made me blind! I’ll talk to you any way I like! It’s my tree!"
"No you won’t." answered Mayhem. "Because I won’t stay!" Mayhem began climbing down the tree. When he reached the ground, MacGillicuddy jumped down from the branch he was on.
"Sure, go home. Who wants to play with a stupid like you, anyway?" MacGillicuddy yelled at him.
Mayhem turned his back, and walked away. He didn’t say anything to MacGillicuddy. He just kept on walking. That made MacGillicuddy even madder. He couldn’t argue with Mayhem, if Mayhem just walked away.
"Hey, Mayhem!" MacGillicuddy called. But Mayhem just kept walking.
"HEY, MAYHEM!" MacGillicuddy called even louder. But Mayhem just kept walking.
HEY, MAYHEM!!! MacGillicuddy bellowed! But Mayhem just kept walking.
Then MacGillicuddy did it. He took a deep breath, and yelled at Mayhem as loud as he could. But it wasn’t so much how loud he yelled, as what he yelled. You see, MacGillicuddy called Mayhem a bad name, and then, he swore at him.
When he heard that bad word, Mayhem did stop. He slowly turned around and just stared at MacGillicuddy. Then, Mayhem did the funniest thing! He just started to smile. MacGillicuddy could not understand what Mayhem was smiling about. As Mayhem turned around to walk away, suddenly MacGillicuddy found out why Mayhem had been smiling.
Two big monster hands landed on MacGillicuddy’s shoulders. Mrs. Monster said from behind, "MacGillicuddy Monster! Where did you learn to use language like that? Who do you think you are, to talk that way? You should know better than that! In our family we DO NOT speak that way."
Suddenly MacGillicuddy found himself spun around, and he was looking directly into the face of a very angry Momster. He couldn’t remember ever seeing his mother that angry before.
"H-H-H-Hello, Moms." said MacGillicuddy. "I didn’t know you were there."
"Don’t you ‘Hello, Moms’ me, you young monster. I asked you a question. Where did you learn to use language like that?"
MacGillicuddy told her that he had heard a couple of older monsters using bad language in the woods a few days ago. He thought they were very grown up, and thought it made him sound really cool if he talked like them.
"Well, cool is not how you sound." answered his mother. "I don’t like any of the language I have heard from you in the last few days, and I doubt your father will be glad to hear about this either!"
"Oh, Moms! Do we have to tell him?" asked MacGillicuddy.
"Of course! He and I have a responsibility from God to teach you how to live as a good monster. We both need to know as much as we can to lead you in the right way. For example, you have never heard us use that kind of language have you?"
MacGillicuddy shook his head.
"That’s right." she continued. "And you need to learn the right way to use your mouth as well. You march down into your room, and get your Bible. I want you to read James, chapter three, and then memorize Colossians 4:6."
MacGillicuddy did what he was told, and stayed in his room until dinner time. When his father called him to dinner, he expected to get into trouble some more. But his father simply asked him if he had read the parts of the Bible that he was supposed to.
MacGillicuddy nodded. As he sat down to eat, he was surprised to see some his favorite food on the table. There was lots of fried chicken, and especially corn on the cob. At the end of the table where dessert always stood waiting was apple pie! MacGillicuddy couldn’t believe that his favorite foods were all here, on a day when he was in so much trouble.
After they said grace, the Monster family began to eat. But then something very strange happened. Mrs. Monster had a bowl of Brussels sprouts next to her, which she never passed to MacGillicuddy. That was all right by him, he hated Brussels sprouts.
As he opened his mouth to bite into some corn on the cob, suddenly Mrs. Monster grabbed a Brussels sprout from the bowl and threw it hard and fast, right into MacGillicuddy’s mouth! He couldn’t help but chomp down on it in surprise. His whole mouth was filled with the flavor of a tiny cabbage. He swallowed it. Then he tried again for a bite of corn, to take away the flavor of the Brussels sprout. Again, Mrs. Monster quickly threw another sprout right into MacGillicuddy’s mouth.
MacGillicuddy gave up on the corn, and reached for a drumstick. But the moment he opened his mouth, pop! In went another sprout.
"Moms!" MacGillicuddy tried to say, but it sounded more like "Momffff!" because as soon as he opened his mouth to talk, in went another sprout. All through dinner, every bite that MacGillicuddy took included a Brussels sprout. He finally got used to eating corn with Brussels sprouts, chicken with Brussels sprouts, even apple pie with Brussels sprouts. Mrs. Monster never missed, because she was a champion stone skipper. She knew just how to flick those Brussels sprouts just where she wanted them. Finally, dinner was over.
MacGillicuddy’s mouth felt like it was just full of brussels sprouts, and everything he ate had tasted like Brussels sprouts. He was afraid to ask to be excused, because he didn’t want another sprout tossed into his mouth.
"Well, Mac, have you had enough?" asked his father. MacGillicuddy just nodded.
"How did everything taste?"
"Like Brussels sprouts." MacGillicuddy answered. "Not very good."
"That’s like your language today." said his father. "Even if you use only one bad word, it makes everything you say sound bad." That’s why your Momster had you read about how to guard your tongue. When you speak carefully, it’s like putting salt on the corn on the cob. The salt makes the corn taste better, and the way you talk makes what you say sound better too. Not just swear words, but mean words as well."
"OK, Pops! I’m really sorry I talked that way. I won’t ever swear again, either."
"Well, that’s good, Mac." replied his father. "Just because someone older than you does something, it doesn’t mean what they do is right or grown up. In Colossians it told you that your speech should be seasoned with salt. I hope you will always remember that."
MacGillicuddy nodded. He was sure he would remember it. "I know one thing, though. Salt may help corn on the cob, but I don’t think it could ever make a brussels sprout taste better!"

MEMORY VERSE
Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:6
MacGillicuddy learned that we should always watch what we say, and the way we say it. We should never use swear words, and we should try to always speak with love to others.
© 1999, Chris Arveson All Rights Reserved
Check back in February for a DIFFERENT story!


Forever your gramma!